Apr 17 2012

Review: Xenoblade Chronicles

I can’t even believe I’m writing this review. Xenoblade is one of the newest entries into the J-RPG genre and it is only available on the Wii. Xenoblade has a lot of familiar J-RPG tropes but manages to do enough new stuff to define itself as one of the best games in this lagging genre and easily one of the few reasons to keep your Wii from the landfill. ┬áMore after the jump!

Xenoblade manages to stay true to what we generally expect from J-RPG’s yet it manages to trash a lot of the really stupid things that have bogged down the Genre in the past. It’s surprisingly non-linear for a Wii title and exploration of the wider world is actually encouraged and rewarded. There are no random battles so unless you do something dumb combat is entirely on your terms. I was really impressed with the sheer verticality of some of the maps. If your running along and see a broken gate or barricade it’s usually possible to jump down into the water below and find previously unexplored areas. All this without a load screen in between. The game looks amazing for a Wii game, like a tuned up version of FFVIII (This is a complement.)

You could have been so much more!... Stupid prehistoric graphics!

That brings me to the low point of this review. This game was beautiful, its fun to play, and it definitely held my interest more than any J-RPG I’ve played in recent years with other than Lost Odyssey. But the decision to make this game on the Wii definitely hurts its over all appeal. I shudder to think of how awesome this game would have looked on a system that had a passing familiarity with graphical balls. Characters actually change when you swap out equipment. The game environments are breathtaking. That artistic vision is staggering yet it definitely looks dated and didn’t have the impact it would have carried if it had been rendered in HD.

I also want to talk a minute about the voice acting. Now everyone is aware of the general dueche-baggery preformed by Nintendo NA regarding this and a few other titles so I won’t get into it. However as a direct result of this the voice acting in this game is the UK version. While the voice actors do a spectacular job the game does come off a bit jarring because of it. Bloke is not used in common parlance here and I will never get used to hearing it in a video game. It doesn’t damage the overall caliber of the game but it does break immersion at least for me.

This kid should have died...screaming and on fire....while having his entrails pulled out by Pyramid Head...

I just want to touch a bit on the story and characters before I wrap this review up. The characters came off more real than any J-RPG character I’ve seen in years. I didn’t want to punch the ever-loving crap out of any of them, (I’m looking at you Hope!) believable characters and good story telling really pick this game up and bring it into the upper echelon of the genre. If you have a Wii you need to put down whatever your playing and find a copy of this game. Selling one’s mother is acceptable.

Overall (As I burst into flames) I love this game, It’s games like these that remind me that it is still possible to do something absolutely amazing, inspiring and true to a genre while making it better and overall more eloquent than previous entries in the genre. Xenoblade is in my top ten greatest J-RPG’s of all time and its a shame I no longer own a Paperweight …. I mean a Wii.


1000/10 if comparing it to other Wii games.

That’s Yo” Screw Motion Control, Classic Controller All The Way Blokes!” Garbage!

About the author


G has an overactive imagination and lives in a weird hybrid reality.


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  1. Thanks!

    Thanks for the review! I learned a lot about the game that hadn’t been repeated a million times already.

    1. G

      Glad you found it so enlightening, Ill be sure to continue producing quality content for your reading pleasure!

  2. Stewart

    …. paper weight…. real classy

  3. Allan

    Something Tells me you don’t like the Wii.

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